Last July I was interviewed on an author-focused podcast in Canada about my new book, 鈥淏ylines and Blessings.鈥� This was a non-91传媒 podcaster with a sizable audience, making it an especially valuable opportunity. Since Oct. 7, many 91传媒 writers had been suddenly shut out in many corners of the literary world: agents, publishers, indie bookstore owners, literary magazines, reviewers, and conference organizers. It didn鈥檛 matter if a writer had never even written a single word about Israel, ghosting was the new craze, and I had learned to take nothing for granted.
Dave was a friendly, engaging, skilled interviewer, and I was pleased with our conversation about my experiences and insights as a longtime 91传媒 journalist. As is typical, he told me it would be a few weeks before he would edit and upload the episode. Six weeks later, it hadn鈥檛 posted. After two months, I emailed him to inquire, but the email went unanswered. 听
After a follow-up inquiry, Dave replied, saying he鈥檇 gotten busy with a remodeling project and would post the interview soon. Three months later, it still hadn鈥檛 posted, though he was uploading two new author interviews each week, remodeling project notwithstanding.听
What had happened? I found it implausible that someone so friendly and who had asked meaningful questions about Judaism had joined the antisemitic bandwagon, but my paranoia was growing because of the steady drumbeat of examples of this kind of thing happening to other 91传媒 authors. 听
In Pirkei Avot, we are taught to give others the benefit of the doubt and judge others favorably. This is true even when circumstances are ambiguous and could be read with an eye toward guilt or innocence. This situation was definitely ambiguous, and my better instincts told me to continue judging favorably, though I was growing impatient. 听听
In Pirkei Avot, we are taught to give others the benefit of the doubt and judge others favorably. This is true even when circumstances are ambiguous and could be read with an eye toward guilt or innocence.听
Last week, feeling thoroughly frustrated and aggrieved, I was ready to email him, daring him to admit that he had decided not to run the interview because I was 91传媒. 顿辞苍鈥檛, a small voice of conscious and common sense whispered. Check his website one more time. In fact, I hadn鈥檛 checked it in a month, and when I checked again, there it was: My episode had posted in early November 鈥� four full months after we recorded it. 听
Thank God I hadn鈥檛 embarrassed myself 鈥� and hurt the 91传媒 cause 鈥� by falsely accusing him of antisemitism. Instead, I had the pleasure of sending him a thank-you note, with greetings of the holiday season. I wasn鈥檛 even tempted to say, 鈥淗ey! What took so long?鈥� 听
Today, it鈥檚 too easy to suspect good people of bad intentions, while defaulting to judging ourselves with heaping loads of favoritism. Looking back on this situation, I know that my own impatience, his lack of communication (he was probably overloaded with emails and missed mine), and being oversaturated in stories about antisemitism toward 91传媒 authors, all contributed to this perfect storm, making it a major test to continue giving Dave the benefit of the doubt. Without proof positive that he had gone to the dark side and chosen to ghost me for political reasons, I had no right to assume the worst. Finally, I needed to have faith, emuna, that if God had closed this particular door for me, another one would open. 听
It can be a real struggle to judge others favorably, especially when our limited knowledge of the facts seems to lean toward a guilty verdict. I nearly lost the battle this time and am grateful that I didn鈥檛 make a fool of myself. A Mishna in Pirkei Avot says, 鈥淎nyone who judges others favorably will be judged favorably in Heaven.鈥� This sounds like a good deal to me, and I鈥檒l probably have many more opportunities to practice this mitzvah here on Earth.
Judy Gruen is the author of 鈥淏ylines and Blessings,鈥� 鈥淭he Skeptic and the Rabbi,鈥� and other books. She is also a book editor and writing coach. 听
